Letter to Middle School

 Dear Middle School Administrator,

My son is joining your school next year and he is super excited for this opportunity. He is feeling a need to expand his friend group, to find “his people” that will understand him. He explored the various electives you offer so he can do more than just English, math, writing and history. Yet, I see his apprehension. He can predict how much work is coming his way, and is already having belly aches about it. The joyous feeling of coming to school to “just learn” has disappeared with endless projects that never seem to be done on time, disappointed looks that he isn’t meeting expectations, and eye rolling from peers who seem to have it all together.

As a parent, I am having belly aches as I see his last moments of elementary school. All the little babies of early grades have blossomed into young adults.  The baby chub has moved to awkward bodies that are stretched in various ways, as they transition to the adults we are guiding them to become. This elementary time when all parents seem to rally around the kids to see them grow together, I see the community rallying to see my kid succeed along with the others. In middle school, I am hearing more about what I need to do to get my “student” ready for college, ready for sports, ready for __________. The community feels less to support each other as we move toward the individual. The parent support diminishes as bullying increases with “who is better than who” feelings we perpetuate in person and online. We start to criticize who is raising their children better or worse as we observe how our kids handle all the various social and academic moments they experience in a day. 

Moving up to the middle school grades is a transitional time for students, and for parents. People we used for support at the elementary level may not be available now, as we navigate this job called parenthood. If I seem a little off or defensive, it may be coming from a place of hurt as the school, the parent, the community used to support me and my child. Now, I am feeling on my own.

We are excited for this transition, and mourning the moments gone as they transition to memories. 

Thank you,

Mom of a middle school boy