Saturday, November 15, 2008

Recent Thoughts

So many developments in the last few weeks, I am not sure where to start:

Politics…Well, we all know that Barack Obama is now president, which makes me very pleased. I am proud of my country to finally put aside petty stuff, and elect someone who comes into the office with intellect, leadership and a team. As with others, I hesitantly wait to see how his first term goes with all the CRAP he needs to deal with.

On a depressing note, while our country moves forward in its equality to all, we took a step back by passing Proposition 8 in California. I am really annoyed, depressed and scared by this: In one night we ELIMINATED rights to a group of people. How nonchalant everyone is over the elimination of a right to someone boggles me as I see how ignorant so many others are to the real argument. I spend so many lessons in school working on students’ ability to compare and contrast similar arguments to make an educated decision. This proposition did not have the parallelism at all. While I agree with same sex marriage, I was really concerned about the elimination of rights of others, which many who opposed the proposition also felt. Those who wanted the proposition (Yes on 8) stated that without the proposition, people would lose their religious freedom and right to speech.How can this remove their religious freedom? Can they deny gay people in their church?…yes, because by law they have religious freedom. Can they say they do not believe in same sex marriage? …yes, because they have the freedom of speech. Should churches have a say in legal policy? …no, because the founding fathers decided the church and state law should be separated.

In response I heard so many state that if same sex couples could get over the word “marriage” then everything would be okay, but how? Legally, they cannot receive a Certificate of Marriage. And why not? Will it really hurt others? One interview I saw with a gay man, married in June, stated that a serial killer has more rights to marriage than he does as long as it is to the opposite sex. I hope this overturns.

Education…With the economic crisis at hand, I have the possibility of receiving a pink slip in March, but most likely I will deal with cuts to my after school program and projects. So much for funding the minds of the future. While I hate taxes, I think America really needs to re-think its strategy toward public education, and fund the potential that exists in the public system.

I will say in the all the debates, the moment I sat up and yelled at the screen was during McCain’s proposal that troops should be allowed to become teachers without dealing with the certification process. While I hope returning troops seek the education profession, I shake my head when I continually hear politicians and others feel that teaching is easy and certification is really not needed. Granted, some teaching training programs are not very good (as some medical programs are not very good), but still it is a profession and should be respected as such. Heaven forbid we have educated people educating our youth and have the proper skills to distribute and develop knowledge, creativity, innovation and personal skills.

Life…my mate and I still move along. We are not feeling the financial crisis too heavily but we didn’t have extravagant lifestyles to give up or modify. We still are not sure what we want to do in the near future, i.e. move, house, family, or travel, so we save and wait for the epiphany. If anyone knows how to speed up the epiphany, please let me know.

I should step down off the soap box before I trip up too bad on some sharp corners.

Tuesday, November 04, 2008

A Moment in History

WOW...I just have to say how proud I am of my country at this moment in time. While I hoped for this, I really wondered if it could happen...a person of color as president of the United States.

Too much to think about but...WOW...

Tuesday, September 30, 2008

Woman of Power


Today is my mother's birthday...she reaches the milestone of 60 years young. In 60 years, she has achieved quite a bit: graduated college, lived in another country, raised(ing) 7 children (all of them having some sort of college experience or multiple degrees...and in paying jobs), 2 grandchildren, a masters degree, a career, and more...

I don't know how my mother managed all of us when we were young. I appreciate her so much more now that I have to deal with so many individual needs in one day and try to stay sane. She always has time for some advice and a cup of tea, which you always need when you are someone's child.

In the past couple of years since Dan has flown the coup (or at least is a few miles away), I have noticed how much she has come into her own person again, free from the responsibilities of others. She and my dad can now travel, spend time together and enjoy life.

A couple of weeks ago, Mom decided to jet-set to the West coast without Dad to spend time with the girls. Although her time was short, I enjoyed seeing her having fun with us. I even squeezed a Scrabble game out of her (I lost, of course).

I really enjoy every day knowing I have a rock like her to support me. Happy Birthday Mom, you deserve every bit of joy today.

Saturday, September 13, 2008

WOMEN Unite!

PLEASE, PLEASE PLEASE...vote in this election for the most qualified candidate...not because there is a woman on the ticket. I am very nervous hearing this statement made of women voting for McCain/Palin, just because Palin is a woman. I think Hillary worked too hard in her life to make herself a qualified candidate to see her "cracked ceiling" go to a woman just because she was selected as a VP (and I think we know why she was selected).

I have a feeling too that Obama asked Hillary to be a running candidate, but Hillary may see herself a presidential candidate in the future. Give it peace please. PLEASE look at the issues, and how well a candidate can adapt, learn, and move this nation forward.

I get annoyed with playground selection of candidates.

Monday, September 01, 2008

Late Owl

I keep staying up late either reading or watching something on television. Too much stuff to learn and I am addicted to learning. I watched a documentary tonight I want to use in my class when I talk about brain disorders. I am reading a book on our human culture and its relationship to a certain male "member". I find too little time in the day to catch up on everything, but so fascinated I cannot stop trying. Alas, I have to sleep to have enough energy to try again tomorrow.

Friday, August 15, 2008

Olympic Gold

Yes, Michael Phelps has demonstrated his swimming prowess, but I am annoyed the front cover of the newspapers here in the Bay Area chose to front him, and NOT the fact that TWO American gymnasts won gold and silver in the all-around. Have people forgotten that we don't seem to win those golds very often?

Nastia Liukin did a beautiful job and while Shawn Johnson was the favorite, she still is young enough to come again in 2012. Oh, tonight a 33-year-old is competing in the vault, a 41-year-old is swimming the sprints, and the American Field Hockey team (women's) plays on.

I love the Olympics!

Saturday, August 09, 2008

Stanford Summer 2008

So, I was asked to give an overview of the teacher experience here at Stanford and how we plan to take the information we learn here and expose our students to advances in science. I asked and overheard my colleagues’ comments on this summer. “Invigorating” “Blood Transfusion” “Different” “Busy” “Overwhelmed” Oh, the last one was mine, but with a twist.

I have biologist training with varied interests in ecology, evolution and the human body. So, what did I apply for? A position in chemical engineering. But I have three logical reasons: (1) I wanted lab experience and I figure chemists do lots of that; (2) the project related to developing an artificial cornea and I teach dissection and the human body, so I knew what the cornea is and how to remove it; and (3) I heard I could put “Visiting Scholar at Stanford University” on my resume.

In truth, after the first week I didn’t think I would like this experience.

My mentor, Dr. Laura Hartmann, asked me to perform tasks I either had never done (writing detailed lab protocol for a rather significant study) or haven’t done in 10 years (dissecting information from scientific journal articles), but luckily, she is a fantastic instructor, giving me just enough information so I would not drown, but still making me work hard to figure out what was happening.

Oh, and I had to design a lesson or lab to transfer this information to my students. Busy was an understatement…I was swamped.

Why was I overwhelmed? Well, I was learning so much from my lab but also from my teacher colleagues and the professors we met every Monday. I realize how much fascination I have in science and how exciting it is to meet so many people with such enthusiasm! My mate has difficulties understanding my excitement, but how cool is it that I can now build my own lethal ping pong gun, know where CGI is going and with swag say I met an Oscar winner, and understand why we need crazy people and lots of money to make seemingly impossible leaps in technology?

So, did I learn anything to take back with me? So much so I couldn’t explain it in the time I have here to speak, but I did achieve my original goal of gaining valuable lab experience and a new even deeper love for science by observing so many people giddy over exploring. I will pass that giddiness onto my students. Thank you to Curt Frank for hiring me, Laura for mentoring me, Kaye and Paul for Mondays planned, and for the cornea group of undergraduates I was so humbled by with their interest in exploring. Thank you for the experience.

This is the speech I gave on the last day in front of teachers, professors, researchers, and students. Click the following link to see the pictures & videos from my experience.

Monday, July 28, 2008

Wednesday, July 16, 2008

Visions of Myself

So I am in a world of what could-have-been if I had pursued some science graduate career. I am learning so much but not sure how I fit in this world…if I do at all. I opted out of it in 2000 to see the world (didn’t get very far), but have explored vastly in my small nook here in San Mateo.

I am thrown in various worlds. I walk with academia, struggle through the papers, discuss ideas, but always feel the competition to find the next idea or the “I should of thought of that” epiphany. I walk as an educator, seeing the world as teaching opportunities, but constantly I feel I could teach better. I try to walk as an artist seeking out creative avenues in photography and cooking, but never seem to feel completely content there either. I walk as a wife, sister and a friend, but don’t seem to know how to play those parts too well because at some point I seem to be distant from people (by their choice for some reason and at times my choice).

My brain seems swimming with information but I don’t know how to share that with others or they don’t seem as excited as I am in the newly found knowledge. Maybe they know I am crazy. Anyways, I feel crazy, chaotic but strangely happy in my vision of myself in different worlds.

Thursday, May 08, 2008

Dead Guys

So many days pass between thoughts, but so many thoughts drown my sanity.

One such thought that itches, annoys and keeps arising is the disappointment I have for Heath Ledger’s death. I felt the same way when River Phoenix died, such a loss of beautiful artists. Really I don’t feel like asking the questions “How?” and “Why?” because I understand how and why, but still it is sad. Selfishly, I wanted to see more. Maybe that is what killed them…the desire for more. A friend of mine from high school died a few years back from heroin. He also was a beautiful beatnik soul, who washed all of us with his words, his poetry. A newspaper article is all I have of him, with some negatives I took when all of us thought we could recreate the village scene in Richmond. I haven’t talked to him in 12 years, and now I am stuck wanting more, but seeking it from a dead guy. The others sold out or got lost in the system, and I wonder where I am. Did I get lost or am I where I am supposed to be? Will more negatives of creative passion come out of my digital camera?

The torment to create but finding joy in such creation becomes more difficult as time passes. I love getting lost in the passion of creation, but too many thoughts from other responsibilities do not allow me to enjoy the creation. Usually I cannot create something I feel is new and fresh. I resort to comfort creativity.

I really wanted to see more films from Heath and River. I wanted to listen to more poetry from Mark. I wanted to find my niche with photography. We all worked hard, but the craft and passion died?

Sunday, April 06, 2008

Old Pictures, Old Relationship

I took your picture down
Enjoyment on our first movie day out
A fun 20-something moment

So many years
Many memories
I thought we would be friends forever.

I took your picture down
I had to accept you didn’t care
You are like everyone else

Assuming you are not needed
I thought we would be friends

I waited for us turning gray
I took your picture down today
With tears.

Sunday, March 23, 2008

Dark Memories

I miss the darkroom. The smells, the light (or lack of) and the moment I would see an image come to life. For the past several years, I wondered why my interest in photography shifted, transformed…even, dissolved. Walking today I realize my passion was not only capturing the shot, but revealing, cutting and producing the image I wanted to see. The thought of using and disposing photographic chemicals (albeit my nostalgic notion of smell) makes my environmental heart skip a beat. More so than my environmental hesitations is the hesitation to give my film to another person to do the process I so long to do. That notion is the reason I switched to digital; however, Photoshop is still not the same as a darkroom. I miss spending HOURS in the darkroom, listening to music and producing the images I wanted to create. Sigh…this is a recent photo I shot on Easter.

Sunday, March 02, 2008

Former Creativity

Creativity changes over time. I view postings of upcoming young photographers and writers and cannot help but envy their innocence. The photos attached to my walls composed from teenage years...how has my creativity changed? I look to other avenues, but wish I could retrieve that youthful, heartless passion.

Wednesday, January 09, 2008

Withdrawals

The end of a vacation is similar to giving up a drug habit (I believe…). You want to quit the vacation to return to a routine more normal to your body (not eating here and there…not sleeping in until 12 noon everyday…not drinking at odd hours); however, once you return, the withdrawals are awful. Sleepy, cranky, gas-y, and out of sorts, you envision how easy it would be to go back to the vacation mode…so you fight the urge, the cravings, and even the depression.

Oh well, only a few more months until the next break, then the long haul to summer vacation. Luckily, my students this year are eager to learn making this job rewarding.

My motivation for vacation revolves around the ability to work on artistic projects, to read books (I finished two books this past break), and to explore the culture in my neighborhood (Cirque de Soliel was AMAZING).

So, I have a job in teaching but an addiction for breaks to explore the world.