If I get home by 4:45 pm, then I feel like I achieved something for myself that day...however, most days I get home at 5, 5:30 or sometimes even as late as 7:30 pm. It is amazing how different I feel by getting home before 5 pm. I don't think about the lack of pay I get for those lost hours (I get paid for 7 hours of my work day) because it seems unproductive.
What I feel I lose is my time to be with my mate, to talk and joke around. Even just watching a movie. Many times like tonight I come home late only to spend my time grading papers and trying to make sure I catch a few words of conversation (but I must admit, I don't know what we are talking about sometimes because my mind is on so many other topics).
I also lose time for me. My time to pursue my fading photography hobby..my time to read...my time to think about other things than why "my darlings" cannot seem to pass a quiz (did I teach it well enough?).
So as I finish cleaning up the kitchen, put the leftovers in the fridge for tomorrow and pack up my papers and computer, I cannot help but be a bit grumpy. Teachers spend their career trying to discover two things: the curiosity of children and life beyond school and work.
I miss my mate even though he is just a few feet away snoring softly on the couch. I miss me. I need to find my life...
3 comments:
I'm sorry! Ipag-paumanin mo sana yung mga kakulangan ko sa iyo. Mahal kita!
I know what you mean.
i hear you.
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