Time Warp

May??? Really? My mind seemed to have stopped in February, with grave news that exasperated during March and finalized in April. Now I listen to music I use for comfort, as I need strength to wrap love around my mate.

Strength to deal with the needs of my students, but push them lovingly out of the safety cocoon they made for themselves into the big bad world of deadlines, work and responsibility. To their benefit, they did deal with my lack of physical presence in the classroom and shared kind words and cards…for our loss.

Only one week has passed. Everything seems to have moved quickly but slowly at the same time. My mind has difficulties dwelling over aspects of life I have no control over…like cancer, and a resulting death. But this was a little different as I struggle with the idea of death like a child…what do you mean we cannot talk to him anymore?

Mario (Daddy) Silva, Esq. enjoyed life and people. He LOVED law and research. I admired him so much for being a scholar. He loved that I liked to find stuff out and listened patiently as I excitingly shared new information (or my mate would pass on the new information). Many times people don’t share my enthusiasm for exploring areas of information not in my particular background of science (or even within science as it is so vast). I am a geek and he liked me for it. Mario’s son, my mate and love, shares with him a passion for history and story. Daddy told great stories, with so much enthusiasm that you felt you were there as well. He lived through the invasion of Manila by Japan, then MacArthur, Marcos and so much more. My mate would listen to these stories several times and ask his dad to explain stories he already heard several times. Those are the moments I (and my mate) will miss. The images remaining in my head are Daddy Silva reading books, working on our computer with his silly (but adorable) skater beanie, and looking at my mate in a proud way. I still remember his laugh, which was quiet but full in spirit.

His spirit stays with the love of his life, Gregoria (Mommy) Silva. She is quiet like my mate, but I see why Daddy loved her so much.

Some Buddhist scholars and monks state that crying for the dead is normal, but should end after about a week, then celebrate the life that existed and live your life the way the person saw you. It’s been a week, and I will try to continue my quest to be a scholar and keep my mate’s passion for history and story alive.

We will miss Daddy Silva.